Does Television Violence Affect Children?

Hollywood doesn't want to admit it, but numerous studies have shown that children become more aggressive, angry and even sometimes violent when they are exposed to television violence and the results are seen almost immediately. Children's minds are very impressionable and they learn by modeling the behaviors of those around them. Think of a baby learning to talk. The baby learns to talk by copying first sounds, then words and phrases and finally sentences. Children learn just about everything from watching the world around them and that includes what they watch on TV.

If they are watching television programs where violence is shown as the answer to every problem, they are more likely to react with anger, aggression and violence to the circumstances in real life. This is a very unhealthy pattern to begin as a child. Children need to be shown the proper way to deal with anger both in real life and on television. Many of the old-fashioned television programs did an excellent job of this. The main character almost always faces some sort of crises, makes the wrong choice and has to learn a lesson from it. Often the end of each program showed the parents talking to the child about how they could've handled the problem differently.

Does this mean that we should never let our children watch any programs with violence? It is something to consider, to be sure, but depending on their content and message, watching some of these programs together may provide the opportunity to talk about dealing with anger in more constructive ways. Having the opportunity to evaluate why the characters behaved the way they did and what the outcome could've been if they had made better choices may help your child to deal with angry feelings more effectively.

Television violence certainly affects children, but maybe not as much as our own behavior. Even more important than what our children are watching on TV is what they are watching in our own homes. It is important to model good behavior, including being able to admit when you are wrong and apologizing. Never expect a child to do something you don't teach them to do through your actions. Actions not only speak louder than words, they teach far more effectively as well. Letting good behavior rule both in real life and on the television set will greatly increase your child's ability to handle themselves appropriately.

Studies have definitely taught us that television violence affects our children. How much is too much? Certainly children should never watch violent programs that are intended for adults. Most of the time adults would be better off not watching them either, but the violence is too real and can cause not only aggressive and violent behavior, but depression and anxiety as well. Even children's programs that focus on violence, such as Power Rangers, should be monitored and viewed with caution. If your child acts out after watching these programs, that is a good sign that they shouldn't be watching them. Common sense needs to be the guide, but take the time to be aware of the connection between television violence and anger problems and using opportunities to communicate with your child can make all the difference.

Author Bio: Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog. For more information about dealing with anger management in children visit the blog.

Anger in Children: When is it a Problem?

Anger is a normal emotion that every happy healthy adult and child has to deal with from time to time. When does expressing anger become a problem? Children go through different stages with their age that affect the way they deal with anger. Anger is usually not a root emotion, but a term that may cover feelings ranging from embarrassment, frustration, loneliness to guilt. A newborn baby expresses their "anger" or frustration over being hungry, tired or uncomfortable by screaming and crying. A two-year-old may throw tantrums that include rolling around on the floor or trying to hit the parent, sibling or even their pet. As a child gets older, hopefully proper responses to anger have been modeled for them and they can learn to express their anger more appropriately.

Anger becomes a problem when it causes negative, aggressive behavior, gets out of control and when the root cause of the problem isn't being dealt with. For instance, often children with undiagnosed learning disabilities will have frequent angry outbursts. They may be feeling frustrated because they are struggling to learn and it may feel like the world is closing in on them when parents or teachers suggest that they aren't trying hard enough or doing their best. Because the child isn't able to deal with the real issue, they become angry over small incidents that would normally be insignificant. This helps them to avoid feeling "stupid" or incapable. Once the problem is discovered and the child gets the help, support and proper discipline that is needed, the angry outbursts become less frequent or disappear altogether.

It is important that children learn how to express their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. A child should never be told that their feelings are wrong, though they may need reminding if their behavior is wrong. For instance you might say, "Johnny, I understand that you are angry about your brother breaking your toy, that wasn't fair, but it is not okay to hit when you are angry." The child needs to know that his feelings are validated and should also be given some ideas about how to handle the situation better the next time they are in a similar position.

Anger is a normal emotion for people of all ages, including children. Good communication and modeling good behavior are two of the best ways to help children learn to deal with anger. Taking the time to praise your child whenever he or she does anything that is positive can also help them understand what it expected and feel good about doing what is right. Take the time to check yourself to see if you spend too much time being negative or angry and find ways to be more positive. If the parents in the home aren't dealing with anger appropriately, they can't expect the child to. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and apologize to your child, teaching them to do the same. If you suspect that your child has a serious anger problem, it may be time to get some additional help and guidance.

Author Bio: Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog. For more information about dealing with anger management in children visit the blog.

The Sneaky Way to Discipline That Provides Loads of Benefits

By Erin A. Kurt

"You can be patient and wait for me to end my conversation or you can continue and then be put in time-out for 10 minutes. What is your choice?"

When we discipline, why should we pose a choices question like this? By doing this we achieve so many things. The benefits are like a positive Catch 22. Because we do this, that happens, and because that happens, this other positive benefit arises, and so on. One benefit to doing this is that we show respect for them by offering a choice. If we always dictate to our children they will eventually resist in order to gain some sense of control. Even if we pose a limited choice, one thing that they need to do and one thing that will happen if they don't comply, it is still a choice that they will be making.

A second benefit of posing a choices question when you discipline is that you teach self-discipline. Your child will begin to see the cause of the discipline (their behaviour) and the effect of their behaviour (their choice). By allowing them to make a choice they choose whether or not they will modify their behaviour. And if they make a choice to continue doing the negative behaviour and experience the consequence that was posed to them they automatically see that they could have avoided the situation if they chose differently. Of course this takes a bit of practice on their part, but they catch on very quickly.

Once they learn self-discipline, they will benefit in numerous ways. Researchers have found that children who possess self-discipline are more resilient. What does this mean and why is this important? The definition of the word "resilient" is: able to recover quickly from setbacks. This is an incredibly important life skill that every human being needs in order to be fully successful and happy in their lives. The research goes on to show that children who are taught how to be resilient are:

• hopeful
• have high self-worth
• feel special and appreciated
• know how to set realistic goals and expectations for themselves
• have the ability to solve problems and make decisions
• are likely to view mistakes, hardships, and obstacles as challenges to confront rather than stressors to avoid
• they rely on productive coping strategies that foster growth rather than a feeling of defeat
• although aware of their weaknesses, they recognize their strong points and talents
• they are able to define the aspects of their lives they have control over, and focus their energy and attention on these, rather than on factors over which they have little, if any, influence

This is not even the complete list of characteristics of children who are self-disciplined and resilient however, the ones mentioned will provide huge advantages to children in life. And just think - it's simply due to making a choice in how to discipline them.

Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly desire. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life: The Only Step-By-Step Guide You'll Need to Create the Family Life You've Always Desired. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/

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