Okay so it has been over two weeks since my baby was born and I can hardly believe it! Nothing in my life has ever single-handedly turned my life upside down, but in a good way! The positive thing is that at 37 years of age, I feel like I really knew what I was getting myself into, and that I am truly ready for it. All my friends kept telling me, "You'll never be able to go to the gym again, you'll hardly be able to go to the bathroom or take a shower. You'll see, you'll see." They went on and on about this for months. I was so sick of it.
Bottom line is yes, compared to others, I have a great baby because she is so easy going! But I am finding that it is all about time management, and how you approach motherhood. Again, I don't think that there is a right or wrong when it comes to being a mother, but my slogan; "Take care of you first, and your baby will be happy", still stands. I have learned a lot in two weeks, and I will continue to share everything in my blog, in hopes that it might help someone else. So this is what I've learned so far.
1) The first week was a little bit tough. I definitely got that thing they call the "baby blues." By the way, this is is not to be confused with post partum depression. For me, just the emotional hype about having a baby was a lot to handle, and then I kind of crashed. I can't really explain it but it kind of feels like; "Is this it, this is it? Is this really happening to me, do I really have a baby?" You feel kind of down, not really sad, just down and you just know you aren't yourself. I guess it would be comparable to PMS. That is how it happened to me anyways. So what did I do? I treated it like any other time you get depressed or down in your life, I revisited my coping skills, and took better care of myself. I got my mom to come over to take care of the baby, and I went out and got a pedicure. I went to the gym and although I could only walk on the treadmill, it helped me release some stress. Also, I called my girlfriends who are also mothers for support. This really helped.
2) Your baby is going to cry, and sometimes you won't know why. This is kind of a hard concept to grasp because you want to be there for her every need, and be able to help her. What I did during the first couple of weeks is remind myself that I am just learning. I am a first time mom, I don't know everything. So I just went down the following list of reasons why I thought she was crying; Is she hungry? Does her diaper need to be changed? Is she trying to go to the bathroom or is she farting, and thus her stomach is upset? Does she need to be burped? Does she need to be held? Is she tired? Do I need to swaddle her? Is she too hot or too cold?
3) Then, I did the following in no particular order, to attempt to stop her crying; breastfeed her, burp her, lay her in my lap and bounce her lightly, change her diaper, put on my Baby Einstein: Lullaby Classics Cd, play some "white noise", change the way I am holding her, swaddle her tightly, walk around with her swaying her back and forth, put her in her swing, lay her down on her changing table under her mobile, make "shushing" sounds in her ear, give her my finger to suck on, and when that all fails-HAND HER TO HER FATHER-ha ha ha.
4) I also learned that my relationship with my husband has changed. It isn't all about "us" anymore. We talk about the baby ALL the time, so what we talk about has changed. We are doing different things that are centered around the baby like shopping at Target. But I think that the biggest thing that has changed has been our physical intimacy. Because of my C-section, or any vaginal birth from what I hear, I can't have sex for like 6 weeks. That has really been difficult because I miss being physically intimate with him. In addition, we are co-sleeping with the baby, so that actually puts physical distance between us in bed as well. But I am surviving, and I know that this is just temporary so I press on!
5) How to manage my time. Again, as I am learning, having a newborn is ALL about time management. Some people think you can't multi-task; like hold your baby and send an email, but you can! Also, I can't really nap during the day, but I know that when my baby naps, it is my chance to nap if I need it. Also, you can still iron your clothes or do the laundry. I just put the baby in her swing or car seat, and put her right next to me while I am doing house work. Will she cry and fuss? Yes. The thing I learned is that a 10 minute task will now take you 20 minutes with your baby. You have to just accept it.
Andrea Guzman, LMFT
Please check out http://www.mommie2be.com for more blogs regarding motherhood and pregnancy.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrea_Guzman
http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Ive-Learned-in-Two-Weeks-of-Motherhood&id=1751460