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Potty Training Boys

14/07/2008 by

By Jennifer Bryan

It never fails. The emails and forums I have joined have mothers all over the world struggling to potty train their toddler son. I had a great deal of difficulty potty training my oldest son Caleb. I was to the point of depression. Caleb was nearing his fourth birthday and it was getting near time to register for Head Start Pre-K. The only thing was he had to be potty trained! A few months before registration I finally succeeded thanks to a dear friend of mine and her website.

I can personally tell you I do understand the frustrations and difficulties of potty training boys. Caleb was doing well pee peeing in the potty at 2 1/2. But then some major changes took place in our lives. His father and I separated, his sister went to live with their father, I lost my job, we moved, and then months later I had a baby.

So potty training was difficult and at times impossible to attempt. It was so embarassing though to be in a store and smell your son because he had an accident. Caleb would play outside with the neighborhood kids but then they would come knocking on my door because Caleb had an accident.
I was frustrated which didn't help anything. I was feeling like an incompetent mom. In fact, when I was in the middle of a custody battle for my youngest son, his father taunted me over the issue of my Caleb not being potty trained. Somedays he acted as if he didn't care or it didn't bother him to have a soiled pull up.

My dear friend Janice who has worked with toddlers for most of her adult life as well as her own two grown boys. She has successfully potty trained hundreds of children including autistic and developmentally delayed children.

When I was struggling, Janice came to me and reassured me that Caleb would be potty trained. I felt I was so far gone in believing he would though. However, when I felt ready and Caleb was too, I went for it. And in one weekend, Caleb successfully was potty trained!

What I did discover is that it takes patience, sometimes a great deal of it to get through the potty training process. With my son Caleb, I didn't have any patience. I got angry and frustrated. Shortly after he was potty trained and had entered school, tests at school revealed Caleb had several developmental delays. Most likely that played a big part of his delay in potty training. Parents of autistic, developmentally delayed or disabled children especially have to stick with it. Tantrums, regression and frustration are going to happen. Parents just have to learn to let it go and stay positive.

Easier said than done, right? There are going to be good days and bad days. One thing to remember is that if you are angry, frustrated, even disappointed your child is going to pick up on that. If you are one who prays or meditates make it a habit to do so in the mornings, the middle of the day and at night. Do something(s) that help you relax and stay calm.

Having support is great too. However, there are those people like me who were potty training without support, until the end. It is best to make sure that you and your child are ready for this milestone before attempting it.

Pushing it will cause rebellion, regression and will only delay things even longer. Wait till your child shows good interest in using the potty. Also, during the process your focus will be on the child. If you have other children who have been potty trained have them help out. My son Caleb is now being big brother to Hunter who will be turning three very soon. Hunter is in the midst of showing interest in the potty.

Once potty training has been successful there are no more diapers to spend money on or stink up the garbage and the house! Accidents may happen but things will get better. Potty training is a milestone that will let your child know that they can do things on their own. It also means that you will have more freedom to do things with your child.

Jennifer Bryan

http://www.empowering-solutions.net
http://www.pottytrainingsite.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jennifer_Bryan
http://EzineArticles.com/?Potty-Training-Boys&id=1312972

Filed Under: Articles · Tagged With: Boys, frustrations of potty training, potty training, Toddlers

The Easiest Way to Help Your Child Concentrate

12/07/2008 by

There must be some reason why some children are better at concentration than others, wouldn't you agree?

Well . . . in reality there are lots of reasons, but by giving this question just a little thought you can go a long way toward helping your child improve.

Even if she is quite young, you can explain what concentration is. Show her examples of concentration in action. You see it all the time in sporting activities, musical performances, and even when people are switching off to relax and 'chill'.

Point out what the golfer is doing when he's taking that 20-yard putt. He's shutting out distractions by focusing his attention on the ball and the distance to the hole. He's planning what he has to do in order to hit the ball at the correct angle and with just the right force to roll it over the green and into the hole. That's concentration!

Or the musician who is so wrapped up in her performance that she looks as if she's in a trance. The outside world doesn't exist. She 'hears' the music and focuses everything on what has to be done to produce the desired sound. That's concentration... It's all about getting the job done - even if the job is relaxation!

Now get your child to consider the barriers or blocks to concentration.

The child's age plays an important part. Younger children are more likely to lack concentration, simply because they haven't developed the necessary skills. You can help them by always ensuring the task in hand is an appropriate challenge for their age and skill level. Too much and frustration sets in quickly; too little and they become bored.

The child's physical state can be another barrier. This can include her general health as well as her state of comfort. Tiredness and discomfort can block concentration. So can too much comfort. Help her strike a balance.

The same is true of her emotional state. Fear, worry and anxiety can all block progress - but they can be great motivators too!

Then there are environmental factors. The room could be too hot, too cold, too stuffy, too bleak, too comfortable...

So - impress on your child that the ability to concentrate can change from day to day. It can be high one day and low the next, so she doesn't always need to feel bad about it and blame herself if it's not working out.

But she needs to be careful that she doesn't ruin concentration - her own and her friends' - by interruptions. Examples would be making noises, giggling, moving about and chatting. Get her to consider how she feels when someone interrupts an activity she's caught up in. That way she can learn to appreciate how others feel when she interrupts.

When improvement is noted it's always a good idea to reward it, and often a word of praise is the best reward.

Now for the big one where concentration is concerned: motivation.

Lack of interest can kill concentration stone dead, so help her see 'What's in it for me?'

Observe your child when she's concentrating on her own tasks, whether they are singing into her hairbrush 'mike' or getting herself primped and preened for Jenny's birthday party. Point out - later, of course, you don't want to break her concentration! - that we all concentrate better when we have an interest in the task in hand. We are motivated to do the task by the effect it has on us, which could be the experience of enjoyment or some personal or material gain, either now or later.

Impress on her that motivation is crucial. When we see the point in a task - and the benefit that's in it for us - we are motivated to do it more quickly and more efficiently. This applies even if the task is school work and if it's not entirely suited to our interests. Concentrating on it helps us get through it and helps us to learn, so that we can cope with what comes next. Stress the idea of personal benefit!

There's lots more you can do to motivate your child to concentrate, but a good appreciation of what concentration is and how we can benefit from it will get you started. Make that start today!

Author Bio: Frank McGinty is the author of the free 18-page report, 'How To Combat The Concentration Crisis In Our Schools'. To give your kids a head start, pick up your free copy at http://concentration.fssgold.com

Filed Under: Articles · Tagged With: child, children, concentration, kid, Parenting

Teach Your Child the Principles of Quality

12/07/2008 by

Raising a child does not have to be by guess and by gosh and hope you're doing it right. Parenting is an activity, and like any and every action or activity, it is subject to the principles of quality. When the principles of quality are known and applied, high quality follows. Even more important, since children learn mainly by example, they learn and apply the principles of quality in their own lives, and do very well in all regards.

From infancy, through toddlerhood, into childhood, and from there on out, children do what they see works. If crying gets results, they cry. If anger works, they are angry. They don't understand until much later, if ever, that what worked with their parents when they were very young might not work in other settings. So they keep on crying, or being angry, since they know it works, and it's the only thing they know works. Their lives are not very happy.

Enter the principles of quality. What does it mean to be a high quality parent? Exactly the same as being a high quality violinist, telephone repairman, baseball player, or retail clerk. They get good results. High quality doesn't happen by accident or by making good guesses. High quality is based on the principles of quality. Anyone who is better than average at a particular activity is applying some of these principles, whether they know it or not.

Here is the other side of the coin: anyone who is applying the principles of quality, to any activity, will get good results. In the case of parents, other parents will envy them for having such great kids.

So what are the three Major Principles of quality, the four Applied Principles, and the thirteen Quality Actions? Far more than will fit in one article. But here is the first Major Principle, on which all the rest are based, and without which all the rest will not work very well if at all:

Quality is an attitude.

This is true. Quality is not a skill or a talent or high intelligence or a gift. Quality comes directly from the desire to do something better, get better results, improve something. The most wonderful thing about this principle is that anyone can do it. Starting anytime. That desire is yours if you want it, and no one, absolutely no one, can stop you from having it.

Notice also, that the Quality Attitude is a desire to do something better, to get better results. A person who is improving, even if he is not good yet, is succeeding. Failure is only lack of improvement. A brand new parent might not be a good parent at first. But if he or she wants to get better at it, and does what it takes to get better at it, eventually he or she will be a good parent, a high quality parent, and his or her kids will be great kids.

So how do you get better at something? Once you have this Quality Attitude, what do you do with it? You apply the other principles of quality. They are also freely available for anyone, without special training. They are talked about in other articles by the same author, so look them up.

But only if you want to do something better, get better results, or improve something.

Author Bio: Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality and its principles and applications. Now he has put his knowledge into a readable, useable book: Anyone Can Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. Read an excerpt or buy this book in paperback or as an e-book at Principles-of-Quality.com or as a paperback at any major online bookseller.

 

Filed Under: Articles · Tagged With: great kids, Parenting, principles of quality, quality

5 Reasons Why Spanking Children is an Absolute No-No

11/07/2008 by

The bottom line is that spanking is not beneficial. Period.

As you will soon discover in this article, spanking your children can actually have a number of negative results, the exact opposite of what you were trying to achieve. Over the years, many in-depth studies and research have been performed to determine if spanking is or is not beneficial and the majority shows it simply does no good at all.

I've outlined below the top five reasons why spanking children is literally a waste of your time, energy and effort.

Violence

In today's world of violence, as seen on television, in games, movies, and so on, the last thing we need to be doing is exposing our children to even more violence at the hands of the parents. After all, how can you teach a child not to hit or be violent if you are spanking and hitting them? Spanking children teaches your child about violence, plain and simple. As a result, many children who are spanked by their parents, feel they have the right to hit when they are disappointed or angry with someone, which is or course not acceptable.

Authority

When a parent spanks a child, the child often views this as overwhelming authority gone badly. Then, going into their teenage years, and even adulthood, this same child begins to struggle with authority in the workplace or from law enforcement officials. Having been under the control of the parent who spanked them, these children desperately want to escape that.

Reinforcement

To teach your children right from wrong, you will get much better results by providing positive reinforcement and communication rather than by spanking them. In other words, reward your child when he or she does something right, which encourages more of the right things. The same is true with communication in that if more parents were to honestly, lovingly, but firmly communicate with their children, the need for spanking would be eliminated all together.

Barriers

Spanking children also creates huge barriers between the parent and the child. As your child grows older, you want him or her to feel as if the relationship with the parent is a trusted one. When you spank, the child can easily become distrustful and isolated, which means that later in their life, dealing with the big issues will be extremely challenging for them.

Counterproductive

Spanking children is counterproductive, promoting anxiety and fear, provoking anger, and destroying sensitivity and compassion for other people, as well as for him or herself. You want your child to grow up feeling confident and self-assured but spanking actually tears a child down.

Spousal Abuse

Interestingly, many studies can now link spanking children to spousal abuse. Although not intended as abuse, the child may have perceived it as such and the perception is reality. Unfortunately, these children grow up believing that when they become upset, it is okay to hit everyone else, often seeing as a hit to their husband or wife as "spanking", but in a twisted way.

Author Bio: Jamie Sullivan is a mother of 3 children aged between 4-16 years old and an author of "Child Anger Revealed - Your Ultimate Guide To Deal With Them Effectively" at http://www.ManageYourChild.com.

 

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